Is it Bliss?

Marriage is the topic for the blog gang and I decided to chime in.

When you hear the word Marriage, you either smile or groan!

I believe people enter into marriage with this fantasy that everything is bliss! As if it is no big deal and it really is a big deal you are taking two people man and woman with two different temperaments and living together. There is this author named John Gray who wrote a book “Men are from Mars, and Women are from Venus”? I love the title because it says it all. It describes the differences of men and women. Like we really need a man to write a book and tell us the difference. I do agree Men are from Mars. In my case my husband does act like he was born on a different planet. He sees things in a completely different way than I do.

                                                        

Personally, what I think would make marriages work is when you get married you need two things one a degree in psychology and two a house next door.

What I keep asking myself is what is the secret of a good marriage? After asking and brow beating my husband he finally told me that he was like Ponce de Leon and looking for the fountain of youth, which for him was the easier quest. By the way, he had taken the fifth on that question. He truly is a smart man!

It is hard to figure out the man’s mind and they say us women are complex, but I think men are really from Mars! When my husband and I argue it is so senseless because we both think we are right and we do not resolve anything. We do have one rule in our house that we do not go to bed angry and on those nights, we just don’t sleep.

There are days I just have to keep the psychology book open to relationships and keep reading but it is difficult to wrap my mind around it as the guy in the book looks nothing like my husband and he isn’t wearing any clothes.

My husband likes to be the man of the house and I do pretend that he is to save his ego.  That is important for a healthy marriage. I read that in the psychology book too!

I was under the impression that marriage is a partnership. I should have gotten that in writing and notarized. The partnership ended when I had kids. 

I know when I took my vows for a happy marriage I had no idea I was signing up for a life sentence in San Quentin. In my marriage, there is no parole, and no getting out for good behavior.  I must admit I do get three squares a day, because my husband likes to cook. He thinks he is Emeril and bam if you like fleshy bacon and coke for breakfast he is your man. He cooks in his boxers too, which even after all these years he still makes me sizzles as much as the bacon does. Bam! He has sexy legs! 

I enjoy cooking too but not as much as my husband but I have to say on the days I cook it is fun to entertain the firefighters in my neighborhood.  I had no idea they made house calls.

My husband can find something to do for hours in the garage, I went out there to spy on him once, and there is nothing in our garage so I think that is his man cave and he is hiding out. What about us women don’t you think we should have a place to hide out?

I love when my husband will ask me to do something and I do it and then he tells me he meant something else. First English is the only language I understand and secondly, I remind him I am not psychic and if I were, I would be doing two shows nightly in Vegas. Do I look like the Sylvia Brown?

I want to say that marriage is like a full time job you have to make everybody happy including yourself and to make it work you have to set boundaries and have to have the same likes, sense of humor and hopefully the same thinking when it comes to values and morals for raising your children.

What is the key to a happy marriage? That is the million-dollar question! Is it that we really have met our soul mates or is it complacency? My husband is a good guy. He puts up with the kids and me and has not left home yet. 

My parents were married 30 years and when my father wanted out of the relationship, he died. My husband knows this rule so he is sticking around for a while.

I do enjoy being married. My husband is a good guy. He is very affectionate and always compliments me on how great I am and how I still drive him crazy after all these years and that’s in a good way. He is a keeper! 

Remember for better or worse and I am banking on that even if it kills me!

What's The Buzz?

I like to surf the internet and last week I surfed fox news and surprisingly they have articles 2 or 3 times a week where they talk about sex. Some of it is inane and somewhat embarrassing. Last week the article that made me pause was about vibrators. May I ask do we really need to be talking about a vibrator or the energizer bunny before my morning coffee? 

The article stated that you could now buy vibrators in the grocery store or any drug store. Trojan condoms are marketing them to be on the shelf right next to the condoms and they are sold as a line that is going to be couple’s vibrator. I could just see me asking my husband, “Honey can you stop on your way home tonight and pick up some milk and get me one of those vibrators and get me a big one will ya?”  

What is the buzz on vibrators? First off, it is embarrassing to be talking about them let alone buy them. Of course, I can imagine the girl ringing you up at the register, knowing in her mind what you are buying that for and then smiling at you with a devilish grin and right away, you want to confess to her that it isn’t for you; it’s for a friend. You would not dare tell her, “I am buying this for my husband and it is the new couple’s vibrator.” Now, the hard part comes where you have to look her in the eye with a red face glowing with humiliation and pay for the thing

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The article stated that vibrators should be man’s best friend….sorry lassie; Timmy is calling you! An electrical device to make women sing has replaced lassie as men’s best friend.  As I continued to read the article, it was instructing men to bring pleasure to their woman. Now that is a nice thought! For once, it should be about us women. I do think guys and the vibe should be best friends maybe like the dynamic duo. Of course, Batman and Robin would never make me smile with a silly grin or make me feel that good.  Of course, if you are like many women and you hear the word vibrator it makes us a little uneasy. Those loud obnoxious insufferable buzzing that can chip your teeth.  I now have a new kinship with my dentist. What about those horrible shapes that look like a dome shaped weapon. Have we really seen anyone look like that or with as much girth and can I be honest, do I really want anything that ugly near my Vajaja. The new vibrators come in different colors. That would be clever to have one in every color for everyday of the week. It reminded me of how mood rings work. Kind of? How about Hot pink today!  I feel so sexy! 

I guess the marketing people feel that you can now buy vibrators in the toothpaste aisle instead of feeling dirty and going to buy one of these in those creepy places where there are men in raincoats and they are leering at you. I don’t want to be that person who would be lurking in the back of one of those lude and shabby shops, you know where you drive by and the windows are blacked out.  I have never actually been to one of those shops, but in my mind that is the image I have conjured up and I think it fits

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In the article, it compared men to Obi-Wan Kenobi and to wield the vibrator like the light saber.  All I could think of may the force be with me! I thought of Princess Leia with Hans Solo giving up the good fight and how about R2D2 and C3PO that would bring an electrical surge to you. Chewbacca, well that would be like being with the village people and personally I think Chewbacca had a thing for Hans Solo.

It seems to be dubious at best, but at least for all you women who may try this with your partner at least know one good thing, there is no shortage of batteries in the world. If you do want a threesome, it could be you, your partner and the energizer bunny that keeps on going and going and going…

Wordless Wednesday - Healthy Heart

Wordless Wednesday ~ Indian Summer

Summer's End

When September arrives, it is official that summer break is over. It is bittersweet isn’t it? As of today, my children are back in school.  School began the third week of August for some kids and for a lapse in my better judgment; I thought that was just too soon. I know better now. Boy was I elated to have some time for me. The funny thing is I had no idea how to act. Talk about a fish out of water. My first thought was, what is going on with me? I sighed in relief I took a long look around and realized my house was very quiet and it was a nice not to hear anything but the outside noises of birds chirping and the cars driving down the street. There was no arguing no bantering of where we could go or what we should do or even what we were going to eat. I was in a place where there was peace all around me. I felt like a Zen monk I had time to meditate if that were my wish. I could do Tai Chi or even Zumba and not being peeked at, stared at, or asked in that I know all voice, “Mom, What are you trying to do?”  I whispered to God that I was grateful my children have a place to go and I have my life back again. I thought for the first time I could unwind and slowly let my sanity return to where it should be and begin getting back to a normal routine.  For the last eighty days, there was no such thing as any kind of routine.

I am now home and I am looking around. Today is about me. I am a free woman until I have to go to work and then as you know your time is not your own.  That is somewhat like summer break is with my kids. I am usually so thrilled when summers is here and bask in that feeling of having nothing to do and no more routines. I have come to the unpleasant task of telling myself that routine is good and it keeps me sane. There are reasons for rules or else there would be anarchy and that would make for an unruly life.  This past summer break all bets were off.  There were no rules enforced. I had begun a new job so the house was up for grabs. It seemed like those college days of eating anything and keeping crazy hours and those zany high jinks gong on. That was how it was all summer long. My kids had been crazy with stretching the bedtime hours and sleeping in on some days too. I paid for that broken rule big time. We did fun stuff where we had no schedules so we played games, watched movies, and there were a day or two that we stayed in our jammies all day.

I have to say today is the first day I recaptured my sanity. There are rules being imposed. It is fun to get up with the sun and eat a sensible breakfast and just being on a schedule seems to make me less crazy.  My kids have adapted and are more enjoyable to be around.  Those days of bantering are over for now and we are even smiling at one another across the breakfast table.   

Today, I actually was alone for more than several hours. I met a friend for breakfast and talked about adult stuff without having to worry about my children interrupting or telling me with their eyes how bored, they are. 

School can be tedious at times but I love that school has us all on a normal routine and gets me to enjoy my children in small doses.  It makes for happier children and a happy Mommy.

However, I am looking forward to next summer…

Wordless Wednesday - Women's Suffrage ~ Let's Celebrate! It has been 90 years since the ratification of the 19th Amendment, guaranteeing women the right to vote

Wordless Wednesday ~ Worry Free