Beware The Vajazzler

Remember the old commercials  "Do you canoe?”

Now the question is do you Vajazzle?  On the other hand, maybe I should ask do you Shave Wax or Vajazzle.

What is this new craze called Vajazzling?  Is this wild or what?  I saw Jennifer Love Hewitt being interviewed by George Lopez and she was hawking her new book and she mentioned that she wrote about this in her book how she vajazzles her “precious lady” as she called it.

Many women call it vajaja or vajayjay, Koochie, love appliance or Hootie patch or whatever name you prefer to call your private area.  Some one even named it her “lady’s forest” which I thought was a kick! I have never heard that name before or called it that.  I want to meet the people who name these parts of the body and wonder why these names stick.  Whatever you call it or not call it this is the new thing.  You can decorate it with jewels.  Yes, you heard right!  Isn’t this something else?  I have to be honest I have never thought to be that creative with my area to dress it up and take it out, have you? 

I am so bad when I am getting ready to go out for the evening deciding what earrings to wear could you imagine me saying to my husband, "Honey wait, I  have to decorate my vajayjay and the color has to match just right.”  Like who is going to see it anyways?  Maybe this will take the place of lingerie too if you can jewel yourself up why wear undies?

Talk about a new kind of makeover for your Lady’s forest!  Love that name!

Hewitt discussed how she broke up with her boyfriend and her friend told her to decorate her vajaja with Swarovski crystals.  She claimed it was a bad break up. Who is she kidding? Have you ever heard of a good break up? She did talk about her having the crystals and it shines like a pink disco ball down there too.  I guess you can have it any color.

Decorating has taken another form where you can now become an interior decorator of the vajayjay.  On the other hand, being a party planner with the disco ball you can now have a party in your pants!

I talked to a few of my friends and I got some who thought Ewwwww and then I have one friend who liked the idea and wants to vajazzles herself and she might like to take what Hewitt said just a bit further and have a disco ball actually hanging down there.  She said, “I would just learn to walk faster and walk more often.”  I laughed at that but I guess what do they say whatever turns you on?

I think the whole procedure is just a little strange.  You are waxed bare and choose a design.  The design is then glued crystal by crystal, or a crystal tattoo.

This is probably a little intimidating such as having a brazilllian wax that was popular a short time ago.  Now just ask to be vajazzled!

I don’t know about you but do I need a stranger playing with glue near me down there.  I hope this is not a hot glue gun! God forbid they use crazy sticky glue and can’t get there hands off me.  I might not mind this with my husband but not with some salon tech.  

Hey, do these techs go to school for this or just take a class in the backroom of Michaels?  Craft of the week!

I cannot wait for my daughter to say this is what she wants to major in at school!  This will be great for all those stay at home Mom’s that want to take a part time job or even the woman who is looking to change careers.  It is kind of like plastic surgery…kinda.  More Makeovers!

Most women get it done above the vajaja but according to Hewitt’s description, it sounds like she had it done below because she does mention that it shines like disco ball on her precious lady.

I guess the trick is when you have it done and wear low riders jeans it will reveal the crystals.  Could you imagine you are walking down the street and it is very sunny and you are blinding people with the light?  I want to know how many people will follow the light….move toward the light!

It is called Vajazzling or bedazzlzing.  Remember the infomercial about the bedazzler where you could bedazzle anything.  I think they were talking about clothes and not your vajaja.  I remember the commercial stating "It was the Amazing Stud and Rhinestone Setter."  My thought is if you get Vajazzled you may find your own stud….I wonder if this is going to take off like the bedazzler and be an infomercial and they show and sell it on QVC!

Can you see Waterford or Tiffany’s getting into the act with their crystal and silver?  Gee, I was thinking I have to go to a wedding shower and now I know what I can get.  I can buy a little jewel for the bride to be so she can be vajazzled

It will be like charms we use to buy for the bracelets.  You can pick out any charms and have them glued on. 

The cost to be vajazzled is 115.00 and the only salon that is doing this is in New York City.  They show one design with a padlock on a chain that sells for 750.00 so this is not cheap at all. Now I don’t get the padlock on a chain but I am sure that is a metaphor to keep someone out but you let the tech in.

So you can get jazzled under 1000.00 and it stays on for five days!  I guess this could make you smile or feel like you are shiny all over.  Maybe, even feel like a celebrity or rock star for a week.  Like I said, the jewels come in colors and you can probably decorate this to match your vibrator!

This is funny, now in the family your husband will not be the only one with the family jewels....