To Be A Friend Or Be A Parent?

Isn’t this a great question?  Do you want to be friend or parent to your child?   It is a tough question and a fine line of rearing your child.  I know that being a parent is a tough job and how you parent is even tougher.  You do want to be a fun parent and maybe by acting like your child's equal or a friend you may think you will have a closer relationship.  However, is that how you really want to parent?

 I would love to be friends with my child but I do not think I would be a good parent.  They are both important roles in your children’s lives aren’t they?  However, being a parent does carry a huge responsibility don’t you think?  If you look up the definition of a parent it said “one that begets or brings forth offspring or a person who brings up and cares for another” that is quite vague isn’t it?  I mean one who cares for another well you can care for a pet and still be a friend.  I then looked up parent when it becomes a verb and that said, “To be or act as a parent”

So, how as parents are we suppose to act?  I know there are so many articles on this subject of parenting saying how we should bring up our children and suggestions to be role models.  What is a role model?  According to Webster a role model is “a person whose behavior in a particular role is imitated by others” Hopefully that is a person whose behavior is up to par as yours is.

I have quite a different answer I don’t want to be a friend to my children I want to be the parent.  I take this role very seriously.  I can still laugh and have fun but I still want to have the parent child relationship. 

I believe children still need rules and there is a fine line between the child and the parent.  I have to set guidelines and we have certain rules in my house that I expect my children to obey.  Being a good parent means being honest with your children and treating them like people and not objects.  You want to encourage you children to do well in school and be there for them when those tough questions come up about friendship, alcohol, drugs, sex. depression, eating disorders and all development issues that kids deal with. I know we are not going to be a hundred percent right all the time.  As parents, we make mistakes.  I think the key is if we make a mistake, we admit it and then try not to make that same mistake again.  I believe if we love our kids that we should not give into every whim they choose.  We need to show them boundaries, and let them know no matter what, that we love them.  Of course, we need to be involved in our children’s lives and make sure we cheer them on even if they are not the best in the game.  It does take time and hard work and often times we might have to rearrange our busy schedules.  We need to be there emotionally and physically for our children.

When my child argues with me, I know he is trying to spread his wings and show his independence but as long as he does it in a respectful way that is fine but if he gets sassy and smart mouth then he has lost the argument.  It is out job as parents to nurture and shape them into a good person. What our children learn from our guidance will determine how they will act in the real world.  The hardest thing I believe is to set rules and if we don’t do this, we are going to have little monsters on our hands. We need to be consistent in out thinking and let them know that there is a consequence to things in life.

We need to teach our children to respect their elders and respect themselves too. That is a hard lesson with our world today.  To raise a confident child is a daunting undertaking job.

I think when we think of parenting as a job and not take it very seriously we are doing a disservice to our society.  It is funny in every other job that is important or maybe even difficult there is always some kind of training and with parenting there is no training at all.  I often think if I had a family heirloom that I would cherish it with all my heart and make sure, I really took care of this precious gift.  Our children are our heirlooms and they are our precious gifts. Let’s be parents to our children and not their friends.  They don’t need another friend they need their parents.

I found this quote and not sure who said it but I believe this sums it up very well.

 “There is no more important job in any society than raising children, and there is no more important influence on how children develop than their parents.”

Let me know what you think?